Don`t you understand that when I don`t answer your phone calls and messages it means I don`t wanna talk with you?

I know, it`s hard to understand. And maybe you won`t even understand me. But I can`t be your friend. I really can`t.

And when I think about past six month, I feel myself shy and uncomfortable. Maybe I must tell you about what I really feel about our conversation. 

But I can`t do it too.

I think, you feel pain now. And I know, how hard it is for you. But I believe you`ll feel better.

Better than I, when I think about these six month, fool of friendship, future and maybe something else. I knowe you love me. But I don`t.

And last weeks in fucking hell disturbed me.

You know.

Be better than I am.

Forget.

I`m trying to find something to begin with.

It`s hard to understand, but I`m very happy today cooking a lemon-pie and being so tired.

The best evening for me now.

So, let`s start.